When Self-Doubt Creeps In
This week, I took a big leap. I left the comfort of working as a part of a team and started the terrifying adventure of doing things solo.
While it’s been exciting to have my own show on WayFM, my self-doubt has been at an all-time high. I’m not as fun as Wally. I’m not as deep as Brant. What do I have to bring to the table?
As I sat down to work on my very first show, I glanced over at the blank whiteboard in my home office. And without thinking, I just scribbled these words down:
“Only you can be you.”
This isn’t an earth-shattering sentiment. I’m almost confident that it’s a line in a Dr. Seuss book that I read as a child. But sometimes, I need the reminder as an adult. So if you’re doubting yourself in a decision, or at work, or in parenting, here are some of the things I’m reminding myself this week:
Only you have your quirks
I’ve always been fairly awkward. I never know if I’m supposed to go in for a handshake or a hug (thanks, Corona, for taking both off the table), and sometimes speaking my mind has earned some odd looks from those around me.
But I’ve started to realize that the awkwardness that I have always seen as a flaw is an asset that God gave me. Yes, I’ll still get those weird looks from time to time. But I’ve been able to approach problems with a much more unique perspective than if God had wired my brain “normally.”
If I hadn’t shaved my eyebrows off in middle school, would I have built a sense of humor and ended up on the radio?
Doubtful. And yes, that’s a real photo of 5th grade me in way too much makeup and way too little eyebrow.
If you’ve ever felt like you stand out in all the wrong ways, there may be a reason you weren’t made to fit in.
Only you have your circle of influence
Sometimes, people will say to me, “Wow, you’re on the radio? What’s it like to be able to talk to SO MANY PEOPLE?”
But here’s a secret about being on the radio: most people are passive listeners. I could say the most profound thing tomorrow, and it may only get through to a couple of people.
We don’t change our mind or our hearts because someone on the television or the radio tells us we should. We change our stances through everyday conversations with the people around us.
Whatever phone numbers you have on your phone, wherever your office is, or whoever you have in your home with you: that is unique to you. And you can love them in ways that no one else can.
Only you have your life experience
The last few years of my life have been marked with more trauma than I would’ve chosen for myself. My husband has been in and out of the hospital for years, and we’ve lost a lot because of it, both physically and emotionally.
While I would still MUCH rather have had an easy life and a healthy husband, I’ve seen the small ways that God has used it. Just this week, I was on the prayer wall and prayed completely different prayers for others than I would have before I experienced hard times myself.
If you’re hurting today or if you’re fighting your past, believe me. I understand. I still frequently ask God, “Why is this happening?” But it’s also given me the ability to really see others who are suffering. .
So if you’re down today because you don’t feel fun enough, or smart enough, or pretty enough, or _________ enough, know that God created you the way that you are for a reason. Even on the days when it feels like things are stacked against you, KEEP BEING YOU!
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