How to Defeat Insecurity in Two Easy Steps
“She’s so talented, so beautiful, so confident! I could never measure up to her.”
I cannot be the only person that has let this sentence run through my brain when I see someone else as competition. How can I be so sure of myself in one moment and completely insecure in the next?
I have heard that a true test of insecurity is not how many insecurities you have, but how much your insecurities have you. I have always been insecure about my abilities in my job. There are so many talented women in radio and radio jobs are so hard to get. I always think that every other woman is better and more talented than I am. My insecurities have turned my coworkers into THREATS! It’s hard to admit, but true. When I am trying to prove myself and all the while mentally bashing myself, it is hard to be secure and succeed in my job.
I have watched so many other people fight to prove themselves, while I tend to respond by backing down and becoming even more insecure.
So how can I combat this mindset and be more secure in my gifts and talents?
1. Work From Approval NOT For it.
When I am trying to prove myself and feeling inadequate all the while, I am attempting to fill a need. I often feel like I am not enough, so my performance is an attempt to feel approval. However, I already have all I could need in a God who loves me unconditionally and always accepts me. There is no need to go seeking approval, love, or acceptance. I already have it! Confidence and the ability to step up to the plate comes when I can operate from the approval and acceptance already found in a relationship with Christ.
2. See Your Unique Gifts and Stop Comparing Them to Others.
God has made all of us very different. You might be amazing at Pinterest DIY projects while mine look like a child got a hold of a glue gun and some glitter. I am gifted in communicating my thoughts and feelings, while you might be a more gifted writer. No matter your gifts, find them, use them, and rest in them. I am constantly selling myself short and questioning if I am actually good “enough” at something. I might feel like an excellent communicator one day and then I hear another woman on air who is incredible and suddenly I feel like I should just keep my mouth shut! The danger is in first comparing gifts and talents to others. We are all individually made and individually gifted. Although someone else may seem to be gifted in the same way you are, they are NOT YOU! No one else can be YOU! You may have strengths in other areas that person does not. But the second danger is in creating a fake talent scale and placing ourselves at the bottom and others above us. Why even have a scale? I am constantly trying to throw out the comparison game that I play.
Insecurity will sneak up on you and eat you alive. That is why we have to go to battle with it daily! Confidence comes from knowing that you are infinitely loved and that nothing you can do, including a horrible performance in every area of your life, can change that. You can also defeat insecurity by seeing how you are uniquely gifted and resting in that. Our gifts and talents are not meant to be pedestals for our pride but rather glimpses at our God.
It’s hard enough being a woman who deals with insecurity day in and day out so I need to stop make it harder by playing the comparison game.
If all else fails mediate on this verse. It is my constant reminder that God created me with inherent value that insecurity will never steal!
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well!
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